Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Oh god it's open bar.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
