if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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