Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
