If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
