Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
