I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
