Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
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How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
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I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.