STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...