Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.