All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself