i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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