brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
