do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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