I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
