I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
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We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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