Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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