I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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