He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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