just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
