quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
