I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize