Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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