lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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