Joe is yelling at the trees again.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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