This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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