you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
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