And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
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I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
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We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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