i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
