Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
