Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
So many bounce houses so little time
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
