He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
