If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
