I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Randomize
