Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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