just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
