Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
