on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
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