Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
