If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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