You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I intend to get homeless drunk
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
