I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
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