My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
my poor anus
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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