I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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