i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize