Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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