you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
