This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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