Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize