The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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