she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Two words: nipple clamps
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