I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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