I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
