I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
