The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
