Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
