Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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