It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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