toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
