My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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