i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
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